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This memorial website was created in the memory of , Christopher Joseph Vernier who was born in Sydney, Australia on December 04, 1989 and died on March 25, 1991 at the age of nearly 16 months. Please feel free to light a candle to let us know you dropped by. Even though it has been nearly 16 years since Christopher's death, I wanted to create this memorial for Christopher's twin brother Thomas, and his 2 younger sisters' Alessandra and Annelise. They remember/know so little of what our life was like back then and I want them to know Christopher and how his death shaped our family. (Please read the full story in His Legacy Section) It has been (continues to be) an amazing journey with more highs and lows than I ever imagined.  Beautiful boy I feel that it took our family about 5 years to get back to feeling "normal" following CJ's death. This also coincided with Thomas starting school on his own and Annelise our youngest, getting to that 2 year old milestone that was so important for her to be somewhat safe from SIDS. I also know that being a twin complicates the whole grieving process for families. We have ongoing issues that will always be presenting themselves in everthing that Thomas does. Thomas is now 17, Allie 14 and Annelise 12. As I slowly add our story(in His Legacy section), I would like to say to newly bereaved parents that there is certain phases that you have to go through within the grieving process. As much as you want to, you can't speed them up and you can't skip the bits that seem just too hard. You can get through this and you will! Just remember to ask those around you for what you need from them and for yourself.   Me and my boys. Here is an extract from Christopher's story. (Full version in "His Legacy") On December 4 1989, I gave birth to beautiful twin boys at 36 weeks. They were healthy even though they were small. Thomas weighed 5lb 101/2 oz and Christopher, 4lb 14oz. My dreams were realised! I had been anxious about losing one during pregnancy or labour, as being a midwife, I knew of the increase risk with Multiple Births. I just loved being the Mother of not just one, but two bundles of joy. It really is such an incredible feeling! On their 1st Birthday, we were so incredibly proud, not only of our boys, but of ourselves. We had managed to survive (what we thought was…) the hardest year of our lives, and our twins were happy, healthy and the best of mates. Four months later, following a lovely summer with our “Toddling Terrors”, our perfect world was shattered, and the hardest year (years???) of our lives really did begin. Christopher died in an afternoon sleep on March 25, 1991 from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, aged 15 months, 3 weeks. We had hosted our first Twins Club coffee morning that day, and it still seems so ironic that it was that afternoon he died. His sudden and unexpected death threw us in to a black world of uncertainty, fear and such intense sadness that I didn’t think I could ever possibly survive.  Frangipani boy at Nana and Pa's place. Well.....we did survive and it is now just over 16years since that dreadful March afternoon and our lives have been swept along. There were many times when I thought I couldn’t go on, life just seemed too hard. But really, we never had the choice not to go on. We still had living children and they needed us. Life is good for us now, not the same as it once was, but good all the same. I still miss my boy dreadfully, and get so sad when I see twins (and all the fuss that usually surrounds them). I have learnt just to take a deep breath and get on with what ever I am doing. It's all about self preservation! I was heavily involved with the SIDS group for 5 years or so, and this was my lifeline. I still kept a little involved with the Twins group, and after a few years became their Bereavement contact. I really felt strongly about the lack of recognition of grief surrounding the deaath of Multiple Birth babies. It is more complicated when there is survivors that share the same birthdate as the baby that died.  Looking back I wish I had......... -been more open with my grief, yelled, screamed,ranted and cried and generally talked a lot more to those closest to us. -asked for what I needed, not just sat there feeling helpless and unable to speak. -been able to to have set up a site like this, so friends and family could have been so much more involved in our grieving and our recovery. For them to read our thoughts, and for us to know their feelings would have been so helpful.  Dear Christopher.... Where are you twin brother of mine, it seems like it's been such a long time, since we cuddled and kissed and rumbled too, and hid in Nana's curtains (they were new!) How I loved to chase you round the lounge, and then you'd turn and chase me back around. We'd giggle and chatter all day long, and not a lot of sleeping was done! I'd take your toys and mostly you wouldn't mind, but then sometimes you'd throw a tantrum behind. Our pool too, was fun for me and you, but then everything was, when it was just us 2. On my little train I'd love to sit, and for you to push me was such a hit. Our bath time was such a site to see, twins having fun, just you and me! Shopping too, was such a treat, we'd chat to all the people we'd meet. "Are they twins?" people would say, (No....Mum just borrowed one for the day!) But now my stroller's half the size, and there's only me inside. No more mischief, no more fun, It's because you see, it's only me.....just one. Next to me, was always you, so close in fact, your finger's I'd chew. For 16 months (plus 9) you were by my side, I don't understand how you could have just died. "Twins..how lovely, they'll never be lonely", I wish they could see now it's just me only. Where ever we went you were my best friend, "They'll always have each other", now I'm a bit frightened, Our second birthday is nearly here, but my brother, you are nowhere near. We were together for the first, thats lucky I know, How long before this pain will go? If only I could make it right, I wish, I wish with all my might. Mum is so sad, Daddy too, It's because we go on living without you. I hope you know how much I miss you, I'm sure you knew how much we loved you, My brother, my friend..........My Twin. (Written for Thomas to Christopher by Mum 1991.)  Visit Christopher's Angel friends- cooper-eason.memory-of.com |
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Click here to see Christopher Vernier's Family Tree |
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Tributes and Condolences
| Bring the memories home by publishing your online memorial as a genuine hardcover keepsake |
| This memorial website was created by Carin Vernier on 01/06/2007.
click here to contact Carin |
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| The hosting of this website is sponsored by the Vernier Family in honor of Christopher. | ||||||||
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